I’ve been thinking about this question, thanks for bringing it into a practical sphere. When is a good time to be sexual?—understanding there is often a snake telling you lies.

I’m struck, actually, that a subtext of the Garden story might be—lies that men tell women to get them to be sexual!

If the Jesus teachings can be a guide it’d be that everyone has to be respected and their interests taken into account. This hasn’t yet affected the practice of sexuality. People are selfish, abrubt, cruel, and their IQ seems to drop about 100 points, i.e. sometimes into the negative.

I’d hope to suggest a complete re-framing: that kids learn there is a form of bodywork that adults do on each other. You’ll learn to do it over the course of a life, and it helps to practice. Diving right into harder modes- like doing intense yoga moves as a beginner- is maybe a bad idea. You could hurt yourself.

Start slow? Eye gazing with a lover is reported to lead to ecstatic states. People often even know how to hug, much less have some profound coital thing. No one may ever have told them that slow/soft is typically better.

This guy was telling me once that he got into erotic massage with ladies that only did subtle things like moving feathers over them, and that he’d be told they’d never felt so nice. “There is a big secret about sex: most people don’t like it,” says Leo Bersani.

Ideally there’d be classes on many modes- I do believe in energy bodies, Reiki, etc. etc. I think psychic connection is possible. So to reduce “sex” to rubbing and diving is just more of the dumb that people do.

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